thoughts

As I sit here taking a break from my Flash project at 11:15 PM, it's hitting me that this is a little tougher than anticipated (duh) just do to the fact that I don't have experience moving around within the program and I spend half my time trying to find the stuff I already thought I created. I was honestly just going to do the damn thing in I-Movie since I know that program, but it doesn't have the flexibility of Flash and I'm a glutton for punishment (see grad school with 2 kids in tow). I find it funny...or just downright annoying...not sure which...that I have some instances where I figure shit out and I'm like "Oh this Flash thing is cake, I got this", and other times when I'm like "F*** ME!!!!".

funny

These are from an amusing old e-mail I received. To appreciate these, you have to just think of how cheesy Chuick Norris is. Anything to lighten the mood for the tough week ahead.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

Chuck Norris lives by only one rule: No Asian Chicks.

The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the shit out of little kids.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and shit on their floor, just because he's Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

In one episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Chuck Norris replaced Carlton for one scene and nobody noticed.

Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity.", then you are dead wrong.

Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife.

Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.

Chuck Norris has every copy of National Geographic in his basement. He also has the ability to lift every single one of them at once.

Takeru Kobayashi ate 50 and a half hotdogs in 12 minutes. Chuck Norris ate 12 asian babies in 50 and a half minutes. Chuck Norris won.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the shit out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill.

classification

Here are my spreads for Saturday. My publication is ESPN Mag. I almost feel like the second spread needs another page element...maybe the magazine title like the first spread, but I'm kind of waiting for the crit to tell me what i need to know. The this white lines get lost in spots, so suggestions are welcome. I will say that using black or thickening the stroke from 1 to 1.5 has not done the trick, rather, made it look better.

Process

Fantasy Football it is! Actually, my official title will be "How to have a successful Fantasy Football Draft". I'm going to attempt to have the booklet cover and back as a distressed-looking playbook. The inside cover will explain fantasy football. Here is what I've come up with so far for that:
How Does Fantasy Football work?
We’d be remiss to assume that everyone understands how Fantasy Football works, so here is a framework to get the novice up and running!

Fantasy Football has grown in popularity and become a multi-million dollar industry. The great thing about this hobby is that you can be as involved as you want to be depending on if the league is just for bragging rights or whether you are trying to win money. Each league can be unique in the way they are structured, but the basic concepts on how to play are simple:

1.Draft a team, choosing individual players from actual NFL teams.
2.Your fantasy football team will be assigned a weekly schedule in which you play the other fantasy teams within your league.
3.Your individual players are attributed fantasy points for their success during their actual NFL games. “Success” may include scoring touchdowns, catching passes, accumulating yards, etc.
4.The fantasy points which are accumulated by your players are totaled to give you your team score for that week.
5.Your team score is tallied against the team score of your opponent’s fantasy football team for that week, giving you a win or loss for that week.
6.Final win-loss records usually determine playoff seeding. Using the normal 17-week NFL regular season, a fantasy league might play a regular season of 14 weeks and leave the last 3 weeks for your fantasy playoffs. Hypothetically, in a 12-team league, only the teams with the top six win-loss records would qualify for the playoffs.
7.Last team standing wins the Championship and eternal Fantasy Football glory!

While the concepts above provide you a basic understanding of how Fantasy Football leagues are operated, there are some key steps you can take prior to your season to prepare yourself for Fantasy success. It all starts with your draft, so make sure you are ready by following these guidelines…

My process steps will be:
1. Know your League's Rules
2. Decide on a Keeper
3. Research Research Research!
4. Create a shopping list
5. Formulate Draft Day Strategy
6. Prepare your Draft Day materials

As you can tell by the FF explanation above, this will be a challenge due to the amount of copy, but I think it is a good thing in that that inside cover will allow me to come up with a typographical solution. We'll see how this evolves.

flash question

Actually, this is more an audio question as it pertains to Flash...anyone know the difference between MP3 and MP4 files (aside from the obvious)? My audio is an MP4 and logic tells me that if it should work in Flash, but I'd like to confirm whether I need to convert the sucker...thanks!

random thoughts

1. This week is gonna be a doozy, especially with trying to get some of this Flash project in place.
2. I think I may talk about the wife and kids too much in class, but maybe that's just because it's in the forefront of everything in my life right now....so F it. :)
3. I'm happy I took advantage of the lab today and scanned my images in for this Flash project. That saved me time later this week dicking around to try and have the images scanned in somewhere else.
4. Damn I'm tired.
5. ...but I'm really hoping it doesn't rain in the AM because my first softball games of the season are tomorrow.
6. Just watched the O's notch another win. It's starting to scare me.
7. If the Orioles have a 6 game division lead , say, 2 weeks before the trade deadline...does Brian Roberts get dealt?
8. This Fantasy Sports idea that was mentioned during the brainstorm has my interest piqued. My friends and I have been running a Fantasy Football league for about 13-14 years now and I was commissioner for a long period of time. I also run the draft and have won the league a few times, so I know how to approach the set-up, and strategy, etc.
9. I hate pollen
10. The last day of class I'm gonna splurge on sushi again.

storyboard

Is anyone else finding their storyboard to be quite long? Mine is already 8 pages (3 captions per page) and I'm thinking it'll wind up being 12-15 pages. I'm very much liking the way it is turning out though...I guess the proof will be once I put them into Flash and see how the images synch up with the music. Mine will be very fast paced though, so lots of images.

Flash

I already know exactly what I'm doing for this. My wife's labor came on very quickly with our first child and our car ride to the hospital was an adventure. The story will be from my perspective and I'm going to illustrate the images for the movie as well. I was thinking black and white, but in color may indicate mood a lot better. I also have in mind a particular sound track for the my movie, which may actually add some light-heartedness to the situation. I'm looking forward to working on this!!

Classification #2

Well, it looks like I am going to stay with the "type of sports fan" idea. I just need to find images to complete the design and to tighten up the concept and the direction it's going. My roughs:

classification project

I'm really excited about doing this project, but I know I have to attack it head on as the wife could go into labor any day now. I'm going with types of sports fans and I already have the basis of my writing as well as a concept I'm excited about for the graphics portion. I just need to find the right images...geez isn't that the case with just about anything these days?

hilarious

I mentioned these ads in our group session last Saturday to try and inspire some creative thinking. Gotta love Will Ferrell!

old:
http://www.whoomp.com/articles/65/1/Will-Ferrell-Gap-Commercial

new:
http://video.aol.com/video-detail/all-8-will-ferrel-jackie-moon-old-spice-commerci/3872720803